Vanity Fair

“All the world used her ill, said this young misanthropist, and we may be pretty certain that persons whom all the world treats ill, deserve entirely the treatment they get. The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly kind companion; and so let all young persons take their choice.”

“As the only endowments with which Nature had gifted Lady Crawley were those of pink cheeks and a white skin, and as she had no sort of character, nor talents, nor opinions, nor occupations, nor amusements, nor that vigour of soul and ferocity of temper which often falls to the lot of entirely foolish women, her hold upon Sir Pitt‘s affections was not very great. Her roses faded out of her cheeks, and the pretty freshness left her figure after the birth of a couple of children, and she became a mere machine in her husband‘s house, of no more use than the late Lady Crawley‘s grand piano.”

This, dear friends and companions, is my amiable object—to walk with you through the Fair, to examine the shops and the shows there; and that we should all come home after the flare, and the noise, and the gaiety, and be perfectly miserable in private.

“ There ought to be a law in Vanity Fair ordering the destruction of every written document (except receipted tradesmen‘s bills) after a certain brief and proper interval. Those quacks and misanthropes who advertise indelible Japan ink, should be made to perish along with their wicked discoveries. The best ink for Vanity Fair use would be one that faded utterly in a couple of days, and left the paper clean and blank, so that you might write on it to somebody else.”

Some few sneered at him and hated him. Some, like Dobbin, fanatically admired him. And his whiskers had begun to do their work, and to curl themselves round the affections of Miss Swartz.

The following is why VF is not on reading lists. ‘Marry that mulatto woman?‘ George said, pulling up his shirt-collars. ‘I don‘t like the colour, sir. Ask the black that sweeps opposite Fleet Market, sir. I‘m not going to marry a Hottentot Venus.‘

“The regiment with its officers was to be transported in ships provided by His Majesty‘s government for the occasion: and in two days after the festive assembly at Mrs. O‘Dowd‘s apartments, in the midst of cheering from all the East India ships in the river, and the military on shore, the band playing ‘God save the King‘, the officers waving their hats, and the crews hurrahing gallantly, the transports went down the river and proceeded under convoy to Ostend.”

“Ill-natured people say that his chest is all wool, and that his hair, because it never grows, is a wig. Tom Tufto, with whose father he quarrelled ever so many years ago, declares that Mademoiselle de Jaisey, of the French theatre, pulled his grandpapa‘s hair off in the green-room; but Tom is notoriously spiteful and jealous; and the general‘s wig has nothing to do with our story.”

“We do not claim to rank among the military novelists. Our place is with the non-combatants. When the decks are cleared for action we go below and wait meekly. We should only be in the way of the manoeuvres that the gallant fellows are performing overhead. We shall go no farther with the—th than to the city gate: and, leaving Major O‘Dowd to his duty, come back to the major‘s wife, and the ladies and the baggage.”

“In the first place, and as a matter of the greatest necessity, we are bound to describe how a house may be got for nothing a year. These mansions are to be had either unfurnished, where, if you have credit with Messrs. Gillows or Bantings, you can get them splendidly montées and decorated entirely according to your own fancy; or they are to be let furnished ; a less troublesome and complicated arrangement to most parties. It was so that Crawley and his wife preferred to hire their house.”

“Considerable time has elapsed since we have seen our respectable friend, old Mr. Osborne of Russell Square. He has not been the happiest of mortals since last we met him. Events have occurred which have not improved his temper, and in more instances than one he has not been allowed to have his own way. ”

“The sentries of all arms salute her wherever she makes her appearance: and she touches her hat gravely to their salutation. Lady O‘Dowd is one of the greatest ladies in the Presidency of Madras—her quarrel with Lady Smith, wife of Sir Minos Smith the puisne judge, is still remembered by some at Madras, when the colonel‘s lady snapped her fingers in the judge‘s lady‘s face, and said she‘d never walk behind ever a beggarly civilian.”

“His mother came out and struck him violently a couple of boxes on the ear. He heard a laugh from the marquis in the inner room (who was amused by this free and artless exhibition of Becky‘s temper), and fled down below to his friends of the kitchen, bursting in an agony of grief.”